Things have been hectic. We have a guest over and as much as I hate to say this, I am ready for the guest to go home.
The guest is a sweetheart. It is just that since I was little, I was never the type of person to have people over. My brother and I never had kids over for sleepovers. My parents rarely had family over visiting and when we did, we used to camp on my parents' bed talking about how we were eager for them to leave.
My home has always been my temple. The place where I get away from the world. So to have the world come in is a bit nerve wrecking.
I feel real bad about this. As though I am this spoiled individual. I feel uncomfortable painting and feel my little routine will be on hold for the next 10 days... Virginia Woolf was right. "A woman must have money and a room if she is to write fiction." In my case, it is paramount to my existence.
22 comments:
Some people love to entertain...I do not. I love my home to be very calm and peaceful. It's where I come to get "away"... I find the holidays nerve wracking. I understand completely.
Oh, you introvert you!
Ana, such a beautiful post ! I can relate to every word you have said here. I also have the same feelings like you. But sometimes, I feel that if we go to somebody else's home as a guest [ due to some reasons} and the host is having the same feelings , then we will feel very unwelcome there. So, although I do not like guests overstaying, I try my best not to show that on my attitude because it might hurt their feelings.
Sometimes, it is a case of chain of guests, one leaving and the next in line coming to my house...it does get nerve wrecking...but then I try my best not to show that on my face...
The best course of action that I can think of is { I have adopted these two options in my own life as well }-
Either keep on doing your own things[ i.e. writing, painting,blogging,etc.etc.] even while the guest is around so that the guest gets accustomed to your lifestyle rather than you compromising your entire lifestyle for the guest- OR-
Socialize as less as possible so that you have only a handful of few good friends who won't overwhelm you even if they stay with you as guests.
Take care,
Sanghamitra
I understand what you mean. I don't like being a guest in someone else's home, nor do I relish having guests to stay with me. Even if I love the person, they will still end up irritating the hell out of me. I don't like having to suspend my routine either - this makes me sound like a terrible hostess! I think I manage to hide my feelings though! (hmmm, guests probably think otherwise!)
I completely understand where you're coming from, and can relate to everything you've written. I enjoy my routine very much and feel a little unbalanced when it's disrupted. Our home is our sanctuary, after all. For me, it also depends on who the visitor is and how demanding of my time they are. We have a very tight and small circle and the people that visit are generally people whose company we enjoy very much. I personally don't like staying at anyone's home, aside from my mother's. I always feel like I'm intruding.
OMG! How funny! I was just about to write a post on the same subject. And because your post about your feelings towards the ceo have been i my thoughts I came to see what you were up to. Haha! Too funny. I have an Australian blog friend coming to stay for a few weeks starting tomorrow. I'm like you. All of it in your post rang familiar. So I wondered if maybe like my feelings towards those I don't like, maybe there's something I'm to learn from this experience? Who knows. But thanks for your honesty!
I'm the same... my space is sacred to me and when people come over and stay too long my energy drains out of me and I'm limp on the sofa for days.
I can totally relate to your feelings. I always feel quite discombobulated when we have guests, especially when they're the type who seem compelled to fill very moment with talk. I am most comfortable with those who are comfortable with companionable silence.
I can tolerate company for short periods. There should be a law that no one is allowed to visit for longer than 48 hours if they are from out of town and 1 1/2 hours if they dropped in for tea.
I love my own space-time..and it nourishes me..so i know how you feel. I love sporadic moments of connection..short visits....but value my space and privacy and creative time.. my true connection comes from my inner world.
Victoria
It is hard to do anything you are used to doing when someone is visiting. I like my own space...that's for sure! Enjoy your week!
All visitors have their limits. Whats that saying about guests being like fish? After three days they both start to stink?
heh...or something like that. I'm forever messing those things up :D
I understand completely Ana... like you... my home is my haven away from the outside... and it is somewhere I love to be... hope that the visit goes well... and you still find some time for yourself... gorgeous beach photo...
Hugs
Jenny x
i do know how you feel. i like company for a very short time, and then, they must leave. we (my husband and i) tend to be complete home-bodies and generally speaking do not share this space for long. and when we do have company, my schedule is all out of whack, which throws me into a tizzy. some entertain, some not so much...what are you going to do. i love the pic of the beach- looks wonderful there.
Ahh space...I have been lacking a space of my own for a bit - life, children, circumstances - and it drains me. I have been known to disappear into the bathroom to read a few pages of a book or squirrel away at night when I seek the a paint play date ... breathe, find the nooks till said guest is gone and when they go throw a party, jump on the bed and cartwheel again just for you, you beautiful honest, fabulous soul!
The life of a creator is never without its idiosyncrasies. That's why it's best to have a guest house:) Actually, for us, our moms are really the only people who fit right in when they come to visit. Other than that, I hate the interruption of routine and I find myself counting the days until silence of mind resumes.
I hope you won't continue to feel bad about being stressed when company comes...I am the exact same way. Like you, I LOVE my company, but the introvert in me finds it overwhelming after a short time. As you say, we introverts treasure our space - it's not a luxury, it's an absolute necessity. We need alone time to re-energize ourselves, and when we can't get it, we feel depleted. Please know you're not alone in these feelings; you're part of a special group. :) Your ocean photo is so beautiful! Thinking of you today~~
I totally hear you! I need routine and my quiet time and it's pretty hard to get when you have house guests. I live across the country from all of my family - I love them all, but don't always enjoy the yearly visit (a few days and I'm done) - I also don't like staying in someone else's home either. Your pic is gorgeous :)
Hi Ana, most of your posts take me to my inner self. I too hated guests when i was young but now as I am a wife and a mother of 2 I'm also part of that 'hosting' community.
I love your writings and art works. I have always wondered how you found out my blog and what connection we had.Now I see lot of similarities in our thinking.Thank you for bringing in this connection:)
Susan
Oh I hear you, loud and clear. You are not alone!
I can relate to this. I love having people over, but I'm always glad when it's just "us" again so we can do our own thing.
Beautiful photo...I wish I could trade places with the birds and be at the beach!!!
I can relate to this... I so love to be alone at home and visits (even when I love people who come) always stress me. I have six brothers and sisters and a big, big family, so I´ve had to deal with these sentiments quite often because invitations are expected. And there is a curious thing about this: when I have people around at home, I am OK even when I can be wishing have my own space again but the worst moments are when I am getting ready to welcome them, even when is my mom who come to visit me, the previous days are terrible, and she is the best guest ever...
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