Destin, FL- Navarre Beach 43 degrees
Ballet ballet ballet
I haven't completely abandoned the blog, but I swear things have been so insane and I am traveling so much that even blogging seems to be too much at the moment.
But what brought me to blog today was how sometimes the medical community seems to be a bit misinformed about us: introverts, HSP... I went to see a psychiatrist for my anxiety. This is someone who has seem me for almost 4 years now. I told him I wanted to go back on medication because I was having a hard time managing my anxiety with just meditation, ballet, etc.
Then, I went to to tell him I understood what my real issue was: that I was an introvert working in an extremely people oriented carrier: I am traveling a lot, I do presentations to sometimes 500 people in 4 days, and I am constantly dealing with people's medical issues. I said that this overwhelmed my brain and I felt so depleted. Now, I have a good relationship with this guy and he knows I worked in counseling in the past, so knows I have a good grasp on mental health... but he asks me if I had ever taken a stimulant drug such as Adderall.
I immediately repplied: I do not have ADHD!
This scared me a little. Not for me, because I have a good understanding of mental illness and my own triggers, but because what if another introvert and/or highly sensitive person goes see a medical professional because their brains are in overdrive and they get prescribed Adderall???? How many introverts and/or HSP get prescribed medication instead of guidance?
I am not saying some introverts do not need medication, a lot of people do, but I also know that if I worked alone or in an environment with less stimuli, I would be a lot less anxious. I traded off careers that made me happier and were more rewarding for careers that I kind of liked but that paid a lot more. Now, that's my choice, a trade off that I made, but it did not come without consequences and I understand them. But a lot of people out there do not and get type cast with a mental illness.
The second misconception was when I mentioned to him that I was back to ballet. He said "great, socializing is very good." I understand that he wanted to make sure I am not isolating myself, but honestly that's exactly what I need because I am with people about 50 to 70 hrs a week and I am EXHAUSTED because of it. So I didn't get into the fact that I was looking into going to central florida to a log cabin for 2 days without nobody, just me.
That's why I feel this blog is important. I never felt as though I was a misfit growing up because my whole family is like me. My mom, my dad, my brother (who probably is the most introverted of us). We never liked guests over, we liked routine, and many times we each went to our rooms and talked to each other around a movie, meal times, etc. My parents never forced us to visit relatives, participate in holiday parties or to socialize. But when I moved to Florida, as an adult, certain expectations became more apparent and being an introvert became more of a problem as people could not understand my need to be alone.
Solitude is not anti-social behavior. Grieving is not depression. Over stimulation is not generalized anxiety disorder.
Not everyone is driven by money, not everyone see success as by many awards one receives, some like the internal reward of a life lived in truth.
P.S. I have not proof read this...