Monday, July 16, 2012

To a New Beginning

It Started Like This

Did you ever wake up in the morning and make the conscious decision to be a different person? Did you ever decide that life is filled with dreams, music, poems, beauty, and you? Did you ever decide you would allow no one to make you feel afraid, less than, or inadequate?

Inspired by Martha's photographs, it started taking shape

This morning I woke up and decided I had no reason to be afraid. Fear seems to be a feeling that has taken over my life in the past few years. Fear of losing the ones I love, fear of flying, fear of talking, fear of upsetting someone, fear of voicing my desires... and little by little I started to disappear. I was becoming invisible. Not invisible to others, but invisible to myself.

And it became poetry

I started not recognizing this wimpy person without a voice, this unopinionated being. This morning, I decided I am good enough. I am not afraid to exist, to be honest to myself, to cease life.

Poetry from life

It rains in South Florida. Thunder and lighting take over the skies and I have never felt more alive. The past few years have been especially hard for me and this morning, in this rainy South Floridian morning, I decided to be consciously alive. Unapologetically alive.

42 comments:

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Love the vibrancy of your colours! I'm sure Martha will be thrilled that her photos have inspired such beautiful art!

Yes!!!! Live consciously and kick as much ass as you need to do that!

rebecca said...

there is beauty in courage! your are blossoming into your impassioned flower painting. you are coming in to your own!

this is what living is all about!
welcome to the world dear ana, i see you and i love everything i see!

Kathy, PaperPumpkin said...

The beauty and brilliance of your painting reflect the bright new outlook you have bravely decided upon! And as for fear of flying, I have that, but I am flying away on vacation this week!

Marie said...

the paintings are as vibrant and affirming as your words. I hope your "soul" carries your forward positively leaving all your fears in the dust.

Red Shoes said...

I love your definition of an 'introvert'...

Being consciously alive... sometimes we do have to make that decision.

~shoes~

Shaharoh said...

Beautiful from the pots of paint to the boldness of color on the canvas. And then your words...being here. Being conscious. Being alive and living. So poignant and fearless. This is the stuff that makes everyday worth living.

Jacquelineand.... said...

I'n sitting here with tears in my eyes Ana; what a vibrant embrace of life, I salute you!

Your photographs and artwork have perfectly symbolised the process you are going through...and are beautiful, just like you.

StephanieD said...

Your artwork makes me feel alive and electric -very fitting images for your feelings.

I'm deciding on whether or not I should do something that will probably make me look foolish. Maybe, just maybe, I will risk it.

Ola said...

I often imagine that I live a totally different life but somehow I have never tried that...

Blog about life and travelling
Blog about cooking

La Dolce Vita said...

I am happy for you. We need to take certain powerful decisions from time to time to recharge our life and I have been taking similar decisions lately. It is our fears that stop us from marching ahead and realizing our true potential. Everyday,if we try to love ourselves by saying self-affirmative words to ourselves and also by challenging fear, we can march ahead.
Love your vibrant images!

Buttons said...

Oh I love your paintings. I also love that you are going to throw fear to the curb I did that when I was 53 and I wondered why I had cowered in a corner so long. Never look back everything is worth trying at least once (well almost everything) it does not matter what other's may think. No fear just try and you will pleasantly surprised. I am talking about fear of flying. I went all by myself from Ontario to Vancouver and was terrified but I did it and have done it three more times. Fear gets you no where. I wasted so much time being afraid.
Ana you are going to be fine. Hugs B

Plowing Through Life (Martha) said...

Good for you, Ana! Get out there and take your place in this world. There is a spot reserved for you. Sometimes, we need to push ourselves a little to get going.

And I am thrilled that my photography has inspired such a beautiful painting! Thank you for that! It has made my day :)

Sulky Kitten said...

Good for you, Ana! Some of us spend way too much time pussy-footing around others trying not to upset the equilibrium. Your use of colour is astounding. It makes me happy just looking at your art.

NatashaMay said...

Fabulous colors! Love it! And I'm so happy for you to have woken up with this feeling today. :)

Lois said...

Sometimes we have to travel for a while in the fog while our self stews. Then suddenly self is ready to COME OUT again. All recharged and new and fresh. Such wonderful colours, just vibrant. My self is having a break from the world too, while I feel as though I am wasting time, really I'm in a state of slow change.

Enjoy!

Sherri B. said...

Yes, I have this feeling a lot...the challenge for me is holding on to the feeling and not letting the fears and worries take over again. How beautifully put, Ana...and this painting is GORGEOUS.

turquoisemoon said...

This mornings quote from "Oceans of Dharma" was titled Giving up paranoia. Much of what this book is about freedom from fear...
"The open path is a matter of working purely with what is, of giving up altogether the fear that something may not work, that something may end in failure. One has to give up the paranoia that one might not fit into situations, that one might be rejected. One purely deals with life as it is."

Francie said...

Yes, your most vibrant art work! The heat of your geographical location burns in your art. So beautiful!

Jane said...

Brilliant on so many levels. I appreciate you sharing your feelings and struggles so freely and honestly. How great that Martha has been an inspiration in your art!

ArtSings1946 said...

I also have been fighting fear all of my life. I am a big believer in positive affirmations and write them every morning and when I get fearful and anxious (which has increased a lot lately) I practice the Sedona Method. Helps in the short run but have been feeling stuck lately, so fearful my hearts starts beating faster. I'm in Central Florida and things are just awful here for so many ... it seems those who are fortunate enough to be able to pay their bills and have a stable job have blinders on to the suffering of the folks around them. We are barely surviving but are so much more luckier than so many. Neighbors on either side of us have come and gone so often because of money problems. It's just so heartbreaking and this suffering make me sick with fear for the world. The energy is thick with fear and denial. But, I still have hope, most of the time, for the world to pull through and have a spiritual awakening ... there is enough for all ... compassion and generosity and tolerance, etc., etc. and especially LOVE will prevail ... at least that's one of my affirmations.

Stay Peaceful and Much Love

Arkansas Patti said...

Courage breeds power and power feels wonderful. Stay consciously alive while you are young enough to appreciate it. Too many float through life in a sea of avoidence. So glad you are actively chosing not to be one of those.

laughingwolf said...

thx for dropping over, ana :)

love it when folk engage the brain before putting mouth in gear... so few do any more...

set a heat record here today; can you send some rain this way? crops are dying all over :(

Naquillity said...

cheers to you deciding to be different and 'alive'. it's always nice to be living in the moment and not letting anyone rain on your thunder. love your paintings. they're so vivid, beautiful. hope all is well. have a great night~

Debra said...

Yes! The paintings DO affirm your decision to be alive! Kudos to you!

Susan said...

Beautiful painting Ana.Are those Twinks? I am waiting for mine to arrive.
I believe art has a power to change us for the better.

Creatively yours Fi said...

Awesome! I hear you Ana :) Thanx for posting such a profound insight xX

alteredstatesstudio said...

Ana- such a lovely written voice full of courage. we can choose what we will listen to- i like this voice- unapologetically... and love listening to these words. i love the flower- beautifully vibrant colors!

CraveCute said...

All I can say is Wow!

Ophelia said...

I love your pst today....oh, how much I do!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing this. I am so inspired by your post today. Beautiful painting, beautiful message....just plain beautiful!!!

Ariel said...

Thank you Ana for your comment on my blog. I ordered 6 colors of the Twinks.(Wish it was not that expensive) Thought I will play with them first and see how much I love them. Your paintings are beautiful, especially I love love your flowers.Am a big fan of Dion's paintings too.
Susan

geetlee said...

beautiful beautiful!
here's to you, can't wait to see your journey unfold
xo

Lynn Fisher said...

Your words are so inspiring and your painting so vibrant...my best wishes for your journey : )
-Lynn

beth said...

these gorgeous colors just woke me up... in a good way....and you know what, i love your words and your honesty !!

it stormed here tonight like it hasn't in years....we had 60 mile per hour winds with rain and thunder and bolts of lighting that were beyond brilliant. i think mother nature finally heard our cries for help.

we vacation in the panhandle on 30A.....and my in-laws {and just recently our best friends} are in fort myers....are you further south then that ?

Sandi said...

oh. So. True. Introvert...something I have been all my life... and somehow felt 'embaressed by'...But your words here have helped me to embrace all that this word really means. And this is GOOD. xoxox Sandi www.LoveFromCapeCod.etsy.com

~Lavender Dreamer~ said...

I've had this post open for a couple of days...reading it again! You've really given me a lot to think about! Hugs!

Scarlet said...

Beautiful, uplifting and inspirational! The colors really show the boldness and the beauty of being true to the one person that truly matters most in your life...YOU! LOVE that you found such joie de vivre, even in the South Florida rain.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Hi Ana -- There's a Kreativ Blogger Award or you over at my blog today (Fri July 20)!

June said...

So beautifully and perfectly expressed. I became quite emotional while reading this and taking in the full strength in it and profound wisdom of it. It resonates with me deeply and I want to thank you for sharing it with us.

You are good enough! We are all good enough. Thanks for lighting the way when it sometimes gets a bit too dark or hazy to see clearly.

Melissa Kojima said...

Ah,t hat sounds wonderful. I love how the rain inspired you. Beautiful paintings.

Lisa said...

Here's to being unapologetically, deliciously alive...no matter what the weather.

Beautiful.

Zena said...

Wonderful colors and wonderful words too... it´s good to be consciously alive... so good

Jeanie said...

Your use of color dazzles and inspired me. No wonder you feel unapologetically alive! How could you feel otherwise with that palette?!