Sunday, July 13, 2014

to hold and to let go






Today I had one of those moments, one of those insights that we can choose to listen or disregard.

As I was in a yoga class, I just wanted to cry. I really did and held the feeling so I would not cry in front of the other students. The feeling persisted long after the class and I was miffed by it.

What happened is that a lot of times, when practicing yoga, meditating, praying, we feel like crying. Not because we are sad or because something happened, but because in a moment of abandon our bodies realize we have been holding on to feelings, thoughts, people, things that we really should let go. Crying is a way our bodies find to release that feeling. Although a lot of times we do not realize that.

This past couple of months have been particularly hard for me. Again, nothing has happened. My career is going well, my marriage is my anchor, my parents, family, and puppies are healthy...what could I possibly have to complain about?

I believe the woes of the world affect us all, but even more so the sensitive-introverts out there who just tent to be a bit too open to other's suffering. So as I read the news, Facebook and all the stuff going on in the world, I realized I have been holding on to anger. Lot's of it. 

Anger and, to a certain level, arrogance, because if I think I know the way then I think I know better, and truth is, I don't. I think we are here to learn a lesson that's bigger and more powerful than I understand...therefore, it is time to release the anger. Because the only person in the world I am responsible for is myself. I have control over no one else... 

This is leading to some changes in my life. Less online time, more reading time. Less arrogance in thinking I know better about any situation, more compassion in my dealings with people, because every time I hold on to something too tight, be it a person or a belief, I am hindering my own growth. To let go is to be free.

19 comments:

Jess said...

Thankyou for this post, it reminds me how much yoga heals. I'm so glad to hear it helped you to release emotions that weren't healthy. Have a wonderful week Ana. :) xx

Kathy, PaperPumpkin said...

I especially feel, identify with, and can learn from your last paragraph, Ana. You have touched something deep within my soul.

~Lavender Dreamer~ said...

Spending more time with you art is a wonderful outlet, too. I hope you'll stop by and visit me...just to give you a smile my friend! Sweet hugs, Diane

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Sometimes it's a good idea to have a "news fast" too. The world will carry on without you, regardless of whether you're paying attention or not.

Kyra Wilson said...

For the longest time I have had the habit of having one of the morning news programs on when I'm getting ready, and my home page was yahoo news (top stories or something). I changed me home page because it was glitchy to my email, and I stopped watching the news programs... although not o purpose. But you know what? I feel SO much better.

The world is full of horrors and people in pain, but we cannot each be responsible for all. For some, yes, but not all. Letting go of that, especially when you don't know your holding onto it, is a big thing!

Sartassa said...

What a lovely collection of thoughts! it sometimes happens to me too, my bf asking me why I'm in tears and all I can say is that I don't know.
Then again, I do understand your reasons. Every now and then I am overwhelmed by the urge to disconnect from the world. Not to answer any phone calls, don't check my e-mails and so on. Unfortunately, this is an almost impossible thing to do in these days.
greetings from Austria

Sherri B. said...

I have experienced this often with meditation...I just started yoga classes so I'll be curious to see if I experience it there. Your shell painting is absolutely beautiful. And, as always, your thoughts are honest and wonderful, too.

Ophelia Staton said...

Thank you Ana, thank you so much for sharing this....

Sketchbook Wandering said...

This is a beautiful post & I thank you for it. Yes, I identify...

Sketchbook Wandering said...

PS That snail shell is exquisite...

Magic Love Crow said...

Very powerful post ;o) I agree with everything you have said ;o) Big Hugs ;o)

Almost Precious said...

Ana - very well spoken.

Indeed we are only responsible for ourselves and have no control over the actions of others. Perhaps we all could use time to unplug from the constant news bombardment that we get from TV, radio, facebook and even just going online to Yahoo or Google. It's always "right there, in our faces".
I think I need to take a trip to my local library and pick up a couple of good books to submerge myself in.
Thank you so much for your insightfulness. :)

Riot Kitty said...

I know exactly what you mean.

Plowing Through Life (Martha) said...

What a great post, Ana! And I understand completely what you are writing here. I feel the same. When you are sensitive, you feel like you are carrying the weight of the world's burdens on your very shoulders. You feel so helpless in a world that needs a lot of healing. But sometimes it's best to step away, let go and disconnect. Or go stark raving mad! And a good cry once in awhile cleanses the very soul.

Caffeine Girl said...

I know just what you mean about arrogance. That has been something that meditation has made me aware of and is now helping me change. Letting go of arrogance seems to make room for compassion. And that's a good feeling. It is a lighter, kinder way to go through the world.

GlorV1 said...

I too know what you mean. It's always good to share. Hi Ana, hope today is a good day for you. Thanks for stopping by my blog and it's new look. I appreciate it. :)) Have a great day, time to do housework.

Jeanie said...

I get very upset at the news these days and have taken a cutback from that. I remember listening to newsman Lawrence O'Donnell reflecting on his recovery after severe injuries in an accident. He said for several months he didn't go online except for personal things; he had a news block-out. It helped him heal. I think he may be on the right track. There are some things we need to know because we can do something about them. Most, we can't... good for you.

Francie M said...

You are an inspiration! I need to unchain myself from the computer too! I do know that feeling by the way. I was overwhelmed with grief one day after a session of Bowen Therapy (massage type). The woman who was doing the therapy understood completely. Thank heavens because I couldn't figure out were it was coming from!

oklyous said...

I hate that as time passes it seems to me that we as humans have to get more and more connected.
Having to cooperate with other people in school/ at work more and more.
Then there is facebook, linkedin, twitter, instagram, youtube, cellphones ect. ect.
All of that stuff really scares me.
I can't help worrying what the world will be like in 5 years!

It sounds good that you are listning to youself, and doing what is right for you!