Today I had one of those moments, one of those insights that we can choose to listen or disregard.
As I was in a yoga class, I just wanted to cry. I really did and held the feeling so I would not cry in front of the other students. The feeling persisted long after the class and I was miffed by it.
What happened is that a lot of times, when practicing yoga, meditating, praying, we feel like crying. Not because we are sad or because something happened, but because in a moment of abandon our bodies realize we have been holding on to feelings, thoughts, people, things that we really should let go. Crying is a way our bodies find to release that feeling. Although a lot of times we do not realize that.
This past couple of months have been particularly hard for me. Again, nothing has happened. My career is going well, my marriage is my anchor, my parents, family, and puppies are healthy...what could I possibly have to complain about?
I believe the woes of the world affect us all, but even more so the sensitive-introverts out there who just tent to be a bit too open to other's suffering. So as I read the news, Facebook and all the stuff going on in the world, I realized I have been holding on to anger. Lot's of it.
Anger and, to a certain level, arrogance, because if I think I know the way then I think I know better, and truth is, I don't. I think we are here to learn a lesson that's bigger and more powerful than I understand...therefore, it is time to release the anger. Because the only person in the world I am responsible for is myself. I have control over no one else...
This is leading to some changes in my life. Less online time, more reading time. Less arrogance in thinking I know better about any situation, more compassion in my dealings with people, because every time I hold on to something too tight, be it a person or a belief, I am hindering my own growth. To let go is to be free.