Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Will it matter in 5 years?

Painting inspired by Martha's photographs: you can find her at  Plowing Through Life

When I was in elementary school, there were two girls who made my life a living hell. One because she thought I was the most obnoxious person in the world, so making me feel bad was her hobby. The other one was everything I wanted to be, but who constantly changed her mind about our friendship.


To my surprise, Facebook worked its magic and I "bumped" into their profile pages. I ran to my room and looked at the journal I keep to this day, written during my tortured 6th grade year. 


I ran through my journal pages and I realized I hardly remembered their last names. Although I had this general remembrance that my elementary school years were miserable, when I read my journal and looked at their FB pages, I could hardly remember anything. So even though I kept that "feeling" that elementary school was painful, it has no connection to my life now.


So, when you face a situation that causes you hurt, anxiety, stress, ask yourself: will it really matter in 5 years?

36 comments:

turquoisemoon said...

Oooh your flowers are so beautiful!!!

MeOfCourse said...

Love your flowers, just beautiful.

~Lavender Dreamer~ said...

We have to remember that over and over in our lives. I wish it was a lesson we learned once and that was that. Your painting is beautiful my friend...just like you! Hugs!

Debra She Who Seeks said...

A good perspective to take! And lovely flowers!

Adam said...

wonderful flower

Almost Precious said...

Time passes, we grow, we change, past wounds heal over but for some strange reason our brain forms indelible memories that we carry with us like excess baggage. Perhaps it is just a part of being human, a foible that makes it hard to relinquish the wrongs and slights that we endured. Yes, the years may pass but all too often the memory remains, that perception of having been hurt of having been wronged. Someday we may look back and wonder why we took it all so personally . . . but, sorrowfully, there are some wounds that go too deep to ever be forgotten.

The watercolor lilies are lovely, you've captured every detail and they are exquisite.

the only daughter said...

It is odd, I have encountered a single person from my childhood. Well, one creepy guy from high school, but that was dispatched with quickly enough.

Most of my tormentors were (are) family. So, no forgetting.

That being said, indeed, most what happens today is (barely) a blip on the radar 5 years from now.

Operative words: most. barely.

Your painting is so inspiring.

Riot Kitty said...

Gorgeous art, first of all...and once again, were we separated at birth? I had problems in fifth and sixth grade from a bully (who oddly enough, is now a mom - I'm not on Facebook but if I did have an account, I'd message her and say I hope she raises her daughter differently.) I found out later that she was jealous of me because I had Reebok sneakers! How ridiculous is that?

Terra said...

Good point about long ago events; will it matter in 5 years? Your flowers are pretty, are they lilies?

Jeanne said...

A very good question we need to ask ourselves - my mother used to say something similar. I try to reflect upon them when an old hurt rears its ugly head. (There are still a few that I have yet to put to rest.) And then I wonder why I am still carrying that 'hurt' with me.
I think those things stay with us because our childhood is such a formative time, what happens to us then makes a huge impression and that impression rather than the specifics stay with us and help shape who we become in later years.
Beautiful lilies.

LAUGH AN said...

That matter just on the moment...I was bullied and I cultivate my difference nor now I love being different. I won't change anything about bulling but help people who are bullied to get strenghed and heard.

That must be hard to you as an introverted...
'
I love lilies oh he he I'm born with some I love the smelling of this flowers. On one pic where I am surrounded by orange lilies yours remind me that!

Creatively yours Fi said...

I was bullied too..went to eight schools! After being a teacher for twenty years I now can see that there really are some kids in most classes that get a buzz on making others unhappy :( ?? I wish I hadn't taken things so personally now...as while I was getting picked on for my hairy legs and freckles someone else was getting harassed for being too fat, too skinny, too tall..etc .the list goes on...........I wish I could protect my daughter from the same shit...but I can't..The only thing I can do is love her, be there for her to listen and remind her was a unique gift to the world that she is..:)& hopefully tewll her in years from now it won't matter...

foxysue said...

We all 'seem' to go through the same stuff on our 'learning paths', and we need to, for how will we get to our destination, a tried and tested self!x

Kyra Wilson said...

Your flowers are pretty!

As for it mattering, well my 20 year high school reunion just happened about a week ago and the truth is that I will never attend because of what some of those people did to me. It's been 20 years, and while they have nothing to do with me now (not even geographically), it does affect me. I know that I never even want to live in the same state again on the off chance that I might run into them. I'm just not someone who is able to let some things go.

Optimistic Existentialist said...

I gotta say this is SUCH great advice! Thank you I needed that this morning :)

alteredstatesstudio said...

isn't it funny how time works?! your flowers are so beautiful Ana!

Cristiane Marino said...

Oi Ana, eu uso essa mesma estrat├ęgia, e funciona!
Bjs

Jeanie said...

These are wonderful words for anyone to hold onto, Ana. When I'm having a frustrating day at work I look ahead to retirement (in two months!) and think the same. It's amazing how much it calms one down!

Nadia said...

Hi Ana, great blog messages that you wrote! I was away from blogging for some time but I still enjoy your blog very much. So nice to read about real people, love the colors you picked for your artworks. xoxo

gigihawaii said...

I am glad you have gotten over your painful childhood memories. Not many of us can.

Jess said...

Good advice and great to hear it's all in the past now. :)
Your flower paintings are stunning!xx

Charlotte Rigby said...

Such good advice, I love remembering something that seemed a massive deal ages ago and thinking, I dont care how mean those people were, or whatever! Also, that is a gorgeous painting, I love the colours :)

Annette said...

Love your flowers my talented friend. I think all of us have been bullied at sometime or another in school. I know I was. And that was a million years ago. I don't know why they have to do that. Maybe they are abused at home and strike out at whoever or just pure mean. you are strong and love ya my dear. xoxoxoxo

Plowing Through Life (Martha) said...

That is a great way to look at it, Ana! I try to look at life that way, no matter what's going on at the moment.

And I can't tell you how thrilled I am that my flower photography has inspired you to create this beautiful art. Thrilled...and extremely flattered. Thank you for this.

Arkansas Patti said...

Well one thing, your flowers will still be beautiful in 5 years. So the things that matter will still be there, those that don't will be forgotten. Smart thinking.

CraveCute said...

There are a lot of things that are better left in the past. Your gorgeous flowers are a delight!

Francie M said...

Lovely flowers, lovely thoughts.

Ariel said...

That lilies are beautiful. Thank you for sharing the photo link.
I guess the intensity of the pain will lessen after five years, though the memories might lie deep within you.
Susan

Red Shoes said...

Your painting is beautiful!!!

There was a guy in junior high and high school that made my life a living Hell. I don't like to use the word, 'hate,' but for this bastard, I have come close.

I saw him at a high school reunion a few years ago... and bless his heart, he was SO glad to see me!!!!!!

I told him that he had to be fucking kidding me!!! I reminded him of the Hell and the grief and the pain and all he caused me that many years ago.

If he hadn't gone and got fat over the years... and was on crutches and could hardly get around, I probably would have kicked his ass.

Oddly enough, having that face-to-face with him eased the hurt and anger that had subsided for much longer than five years.

So, will it matter in five years? Only if you find a way to dismiss this... let it go.

Thank you for your kindness...

~shoes~

Red Shoes said...

PS: that was an odd ending... I rant about possibly kicking a fellow's ass, and THEN thank you for your kindness...

HAR!!!

~shoes~

Melissa said...

Gorgeous painting. You're right about having that mindset. Wisdom comes with age (we all hope) and experience.

Thanks for stopping by my blog the other day! The kitties are purring.

Magic Love Crow said...

So interesting and so true! Thank you for this post! Your flowers are stunning! Hugs ;o)

Elena said...

Speaking for myself things only matter in 5 years if I let it. In my case I've gone back and 'torn the scab off' and let things heal once and for all. So glad you're not in pain over this anymore. And holy crap woman I love your butterflies and flowers! You rock!

Ileana said...

A thought-provoking post. It's funny how something from the past can haunt you...the feeling, even though the memory has faded, is still there. I'm glad you came to a realization that the woman you are now has strengthened and moved on. I think we can all relate to this one in some way. Btw, your artwork is popping out and beautiful. Wow, chica!

Zena said...

Oh.... it´s true. It happens the same with the concern for the future. Who knows where we´ll be in five years, one year, sith months and even tomorrow

Sherri B. said...

Great advice...isn't it interesting how we can lose the memory details, yet the emotions of those moments stick with us like glue? Your paintings are so lovely, as always...