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I have had moments of anger and rage that have consumed me. I have had arguments with people and then relived that moment in my head over and over again, going over the dialogue and wishing I had said this or that as a come back at the time.
Today was one of those moments. When a person is from the South, other people might have some pretty derogatory things to say, such as hillbilly, hick or some other term. When I hear any term that's said to offend, I used to get angry. Enraged even. I felt this way today: angry, offended, hurt, enraged. My desire was to lash out, to offend, to attack.
But then, I remembered my aunt, who is the most spiritually developed person I have ever met. She has this aura of peace, of acceptance, of enlightenment. I realized anger and rage hurts me more than the person I am angry at, so my reply when this person was talking to me and said I was his friend, amidst the sarcasm and offensive language was : I am not your friend. And I was freed. No anger, no rage, no hatred, just the pure sense that it is no my job to cure him of his ignorance, but it is my job to not let hatred infect my life.
43 comments:
Beautifully spoken. An eye for an eye or tit for tat gets one no where. Dullards are best ignored as that's exactly what they do not want ... or better yet, give them the sweetest smile as though to say; "Now aren't you just the sweetest little ole thang? Bless your cotton-pickin' little ole heart." It'll drive them crazy.
What Almost Precious said is priceless. Your artwork really seems to be evolving...and so is the artist! :) xoxox
"Hate" is a most horrible emotion. I've read that there is just a fine hair's difference between the emotions of 'love' and 'hate,' but I don't know.
For however backwards we Southerners are supposed to be, I've ran across some greatly biased, arrogant, ignorant people from other parts of this country.
I agree with your aunt's take on such things.
~shoes~
Wonderful. I'd actually written a post some time back on unforgiveness, and reading what you'd written, this line from it came to mind: "Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping your enemy will die". I think one could easily replace the word "unforgiveness" here with anger -- it is so much better for US to let things go. I think there's a saying about how people who hurt others hurt themselves much more -- we need to be sorry for them. Repay evil with good, that's the way to go! Your painting is lovely :)
Beautifully handled and expressed.
Your aunt sounds like such a wise woman, and her niece is equally wise. =)
There is a place for anger, just as there is for fear....they are both warning posts; tools. It's when anger turns from being a tool to being an imperative that we run into problems. Better by far that love, as in your beautiful painting, be the imperative.
It feels very happy here among your flowers, where anger is acknowledged but kept in it's place, under the wraps of love! Thank you for sharing. :~) xxxx
Such a wise response! It would be nice to think that he understood but I think you are also right when you say it isn't your job to cure him. Your artwork is so beautiful and fre!
Well said. I simply refuse to engage with people who come out with such vile remarks. I also have no problem telling them straight to their face what I think of them. Then I'm done with them.
Well said :)I wonder what the need of this person's projection is. I guess it is about some insecurities. Well done for not identifying with it and batting it away.
Your art is really evolving and looking very secure! Well done.
ManonX
I love your post!!! Truly I do. Your words once again hit home with me. I love your painting, and truly appreciate what you have said....shine on!
Great words and great art Ana.I remember a teacher of mine telling us a way to react at someone who picks up a fight or argument with us. Don't flare up, don't let anger or hatred dominate us then, instead smile and show your best manners. That person is sure to get uneasy and will soon stop humiliating us.We don't have to waste our energy on worthless people.
Susan
well said. from a fellow southerner.
That was such a great response! I love it. I don't think a lesson was learned, but that's not your problem. I love your art, Ana. Simply beautiful.
This was for sure a great response. I do love your art Ana, very much.
Lovely greet
Marja
(marjascreativity)
That is so true. The anger engulfs us and the negative energy from it is consuming. To set it aside is such a gift you gave yourself. Sometimes we have to set people free, and then we are free.
Loved that painting too. L
Very well stated. I applaud you for being able to not let anger and hatred into your Life. Not always an easy task.
It is so hard to let those words slip right by us and not take them to heart. I have had people in my life in the past that did not uplift me...no more though! Sweet hugs from a Southern friend! Enjoy your week!
I think you handled it really well...with people like that, your anger back at them would probably have no effect and certainly wouldn't change their mindset. Your aunt sounds like an amazing and wise woman...your painting is so carefree and filled with light. Lovely to look at!
Beautiful flowers:) Controlling anger is a life lesson and I commend you on choosing to not let it overcome you. For me, sometimes it's hard to not let things bother but I'm learning! I'm learning that something only bothers me when I let and that with anger comes wasted energy. It's hard though...like I said, I'm working on it, xoxo!
now all the energy lost during hatred can be directed toward positivity, ana... the energy is the same - in one scenario, it's lost; in the other, given away, freely :)
To answer your question, Ana, Japan is perfectly fine. The area around the earthquake/tsunami area is still affected but you would never know they had had such a disaster in the rest of Japan. We did not go north of Tokyo -- we went south. We had no fear of being there or eating there. We figured that, even if there is danger, we're only there for 3 weeks. The Japanese people live there permanently and you dont' see them panicking. So what the hell, eh? That was our attitude.
'not my job to cure him of his ignorance, but it is my job to not let hatred infect my life'
This is such a HUGE statement! Often times I find others don't understand how or why I "let things go" when offenses are made or acted out by my ex husband...mostly its because "I" feel better about letting it go. He will never get it. Period. I get no satisfaction out of "putting him in his place". It is for sure a much happier way to live :O)
If you had said, "You are not my friend," and walked away, he would have been flabbergasted. Way to go, Ana!
What a very difficult thing to do so I admire you for not letting him "infect" you. I'm the same way; I hang onto hurtful things and let them fester until I'm poisoned with them. I hope I get to be as magnanimous as you the next time something hurtful happens to me.
Excellent and powerful response. Very spiritually evolved, you chose peace, freeing your heart and soul!! Your beautiful flower represents this well!!
Hugs Giggles
I always enjoy reading your insights. :) True, anger only hurts us and it's really hard sometimes to stop and think. Good for you. :)
How beautifully expressed Ana... I can feel the peacefulness in your words... and once again.. your art is amazing...
Hugs
Jenny x
Good for you!
I like that you used the term "spiritually developed". It's always amazed me how energy works. A single person, place or thing, regardless of the significance involved, can have the potential to elevate us (very much wanted) or drain us (if we allow it). Two words - control and choice. We are in control of our energy and it's our choice how we choose to react to various people and situations.
airbama@bellsouth.net
so proud Ana....so difficult sometimes maintain (i too know that feeling). that was a great way to deflate that offensive conversation.
I am so proud of you Ana, the way you have managed the situation in the best possible manner. Believe me, just like you, I have also learned over the years to manage anger in a strong but firm way without sounding offensive ! If anger is managed in a non-confrontational manner, we can express our innermost emotions but at the same time, not bear the burden of "I wish I had said that/ I did not say that" kind of thinking.
I love your painting, love the bold strokes in the flower petals. It expresses and represents an empowered sate of mind.
Your art in this post is so serene. One would never think you ever got angry. But we are human and this is something we all have to control. I think experience and conscious effort can help. Your aunt obviously was a great influence on you. We need more people like her and you! With so much anger and violence in the news it is a good thing to discuss. Thanks for bringing this out into the light for us to think about.
So true ~ glad your aunt is in your life ~ Delightful art work with such a delicate touch ~ (A Creative Harbor)
This is so true more people should remember this they would be much happier. Love your art. B
Very well said! I love your beautifully colored flower.
Neo-color pencils are really easy to use, they have a high pigment and are also great to use on top of gesso. Brightens the page up considerably. You should try them, since you also like strong colors! Can't really do much wrong with them.
Beautiful pictures!
You are lucky to have your aunt with such spiritual insight!
Greetings from Norway
I just LOVE YOU!! And your beautiful art. I'm smirking at the moment...having asked the Universe for a sign of 'what gives' as I try to figure out how to deal with something and it's interesting the blog posts that I'm finding. As if by accident. Or not. Huge hugs for you and your Aunt's wisdom.
Ana, just wanted to let you know I've nominated you for a Liebster Blog Award; you can pick it up here:
http://jblethers.blogspot.com/2012/08/turn-that-frown-upside-down.html
That is a great coming to self actualization thought. Some people need to be distanced.
Wonderfully said. I've always said that holding in anger about something someone else has done or said only hurts yourself. You are the only one losing sleep over it - they most certainly are not. And so why not free yourself from the anger? I love that you were direct, honest and without anger. Perhaps this other person will actually stop and think for once.
I love your art sweet art here. Nothing angry about it!
I always remember: to carry and anger and hatred, is a very heavy weight indeed. Wonderful post, Ana!
Ana you were so brave to let the anger go in that instant.Seriously, that's something i really struggle with.
I love the art you share on your blog.. it is incredibly beautiful!
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