Sunday, June 24, 2012

In the fast lane

Holi Women

I am still recuperating from the over socialization between me and guest and the immense amount of pressure at my work this past week. I feel so drained and exhausted, I am finding hard to engage in any type of conversation.

I am very aware of my body and the fact that as an introvert, I feel completely depleted of energy when the pace of my life gets too fast, too unpredictable, or just too much. However, I am also still at a point in my life where my career is very important.

It is at this cross road that I question myself: what is really important, the slow pace of life I long for or the feeling of accomplishment in a career that I love most times, but that sometimes makes me sick?

17 comments:

Kathy, PaperPumpkin said...

Oh my, you'd have thought that I co-wrote this, at least that last paragraph! I know my heart is still with being a teacher, but with the ridiculous from our governor and new rules that were admittedly 'impossible', I question my ability to remian healthy in this career...as an introvert, too, I continually smile...and jump. Now that officially I am on a summer break, the REAL relaxed me will undoubtedly shine through again like my readers said did last year!! Haha! I hear you, though, and completely understand. Send your thoughts and wishes out into the universe, and when you write them down, too, they begin to become...real. Love and peace to you. Kathy

alteredstatesstudio said...

i admire your courage to even write down and voice your emotions. i too have been struggling between the balance of life and work. i keep wondering if there is something else calling my name; something more creatively pleasing. so hard to know, and do not want to misstep. balance....love your painting!

Francie said...

I am retired now but when I was teaching I was always so tired, tired to the bone as they say and even the summer break didn't come close to a cure. I can only say this in retrospect, I used to think summers were great. However I also got a lot out of my job and looking back I don't regret not throwing it all away as I often dereamed of doing. There's a time, place and a price for everything. Hang in there.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Try long bubblebaths in a dark bathroom lit only by candles, with some soft instrumental music playing. And get a bath pillow for your neck. I always found that to be a good stress relief when feeling drained.

turquoisemoon said...

Agree with Francie, however, I think if I had practiced meditation, way back then, life would have been easier. My morning routine includes at least 15 minutes of meditation...this sets the foundation of my day. You could call this your SIT time. (Special Introvert Time)...hahaha

Jane said...

I hear you. I am thinking of going back to school and have been actively taking into consideration the fact that I am an introvert. I like Debra's (one of my own coping strategies) & turquoisemoon's suggestions.

Plowing Through Life (Martha) said...

Ana, I hear you, too. Like Jane, I have thought about going back to school to change paths, but not sure if I have the energy at this point in my life. I struggled with what you are struggling with for awhile and settled on a slower pace in life. My decision to do that has helped the whole family slow down, so we're all gaining from it. You will decide what works best for you in time. In the meantime, there are some great suggestions above to help you relax and regain your inner strength.

Jacquelineand.... said...

You've written many of my own thoughts.

After several years of being unable to work for health reasons, I may be able to return to work. While I rejoice in the opportunity to contribute meaningfully to the family finances I feel stirrings of regret at the prospect of losing much of my thoughtful time...

NatashaMay said...

Those are tough questions to answer. Hope you get to figure it out. :) Love your Holi Women. :)

La Dolce Vita said...

Ana, I love your art "holi women". I am from India and I celebrate "Holi", the festival of colors.

About the questions that you have raised, I too have struggled with the same kind of questions in the past for at least 3 years ! But finally, after 3 years of questioning myself, I got an answer. To be precise, I found a way out of this messy situation.
I am a homemaker now yet I pursue my creative activities.
Ana, time will give you an answer. When that time will come we cannot know as of now. But be sure of the truth that when things start to overwhelm us...it is the begining , a sign...that somethings must change...and it will change...for the better eventually!
All the best,

Arkansas Patti said...

That is a really tough balance to achieve. I hope you find a way to combine both.
I really like that painting. It is awesome.

Shaharoh said...

I walk in two worlds as being an introvert and an extrovert. So if I go too long without human interaction, I feel lonely and when I am too busy to even think or breathe, I feel depleted, like you mention. Perhaps, achieving your current accomplishments will help lead to a slower pace of life? I don't know the answer but I do know that one day, I'd like to be financial free enough to go away for long periods of time only to resurface with a passion for company and camaraderie. Like someone mentioned above, long bubble baths and relaxation time may help. You can always schedule in hour of "me" time for an hour everyday where you can sit there on your patio to listen to nature's music. xoxo:)

Buttons said...

Oh I wish I could give you an answer. It has been na emotional day for me and I just want to get a hug and have someone tell me everything will workout the way it is supposed to. So that is what I am going to give you. Big Hug and "Everything will workout the way it is supposed to".I wish I had the answer you need. Take care B

Susan said...

I think a balance of both helps. But some days that balance gets disrupted and then just stay positive and believe that 'tomorrow will turn out to be a much better day.
Love your painting.
I hope you have less stressful days in the coming weeks.

Elena said...

Beautifully said. Have you tried meditation?

Kathy, PaperPumpkin said...

You know, as soon as you wrote that you were a capricorn, i just KNEW we would have the same birthday...and we do! So, we were meant to meet...!

Natasha said...

You pose an interesting question but what if it's neither answer? What if it's a balance between? Or what if the question is what makes me happy? What will allow me to live the most rewarding life? I love the exploration you do in both your art and your words. Love the pondering and living you are doing as much as I love Holi Women - a lot!